Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
