I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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