I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
