You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
