he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
