i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
