he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
