At least make sure they are 18
Why
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
