I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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