so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
