I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
