Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
