I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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