She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
worst night to have a conscience
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
