I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
