There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
