got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
