forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
