I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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