his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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