That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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