You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i believe in u and ur pee
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
