Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
