You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
