you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
