I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
