Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
