you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
