i don't plan on having that self control this summer
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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