Me. At least after what I've been through.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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