He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
