The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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