I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
