Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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