and you said cock pushups were impossible
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
