I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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