if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
