I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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