I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I will pee on everything he values.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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