dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sorry about my life...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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