Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
"it" just moved
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
