My nipple is on Facebook.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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