just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
