i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
