She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
