How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
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