I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
