you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
