Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
