Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
