just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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