What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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