I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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