he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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