guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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