Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
