Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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